An Author’s Advice to Literary Agents

Today’s guest post is by writer Cara Sue Achterberg.

I sometimes feel as though I have read hundreds, no thousands, of articles written by literary agents filled with advice for wannabe writers. I’ve even trekked thousands of miles to hear them tell me that same information in person. When I can’t make it in person I listen to podcasts while simultaneously playing Solitaire. I’ve logged so many hours I can now play Spider Solitaire with two decks—and win!

At this point, I think I know all there is to know about how to artistically grovel to agents. But I’m wondering if agents know all there is to know about how to treat wannabe writers? Sure, I realize they hold all the cards in this potential relationship, but I think they could stand to read at least one article about the proper care and feeding of those of us vying for their attention.

Ways Agents Can Help Us Writers

Most of us investigate agents through their website. I’m certain it was much harder for authors even ten years ago when they had to depend on books in search of current facts that changed daily.

That said, here’s my advice to literary agents:

• DO make your website writer friendly. Tell us about your agency—what makes it stand out and what you can do for us as a potential authors. Pictures are especially good as we are generally a creative sort and we can gather a lot of information—correct or not—from a simple picture. I particularly like agencies that post pictures of a dog or cat. Yes, I’m aware that a dog or cat tells me very little about your agency except that you’re an animal person, but that’s a great divider in this world.
• DO list exactly what you’re looking for in terms of genres.  “Literary or commercial fiction with a strong sense of story and character” is pretty much what we’re all trying to write. Could you be a little more specific, please?

“I look for books with incredible writing and real characters” as opposed to horrible writing and unreal characters? Who’s looking for that? You’re on the hunt for “compelling memoir”? Is there any other type?

Sure, I understand it can be difficult to put in writing exactly what you’re looking for, but maybe something a bit more unambiguous than “awesome writing” as one agent so cleverly wrote.  Awesome is subjective. My mountain of rejection letters have clarified that.

• DO explain clearly what you’d like in terms of the submission package. But consider stepping outside the box a little; give us a chance to differentiate ourselves.

Recently, I queried an agency through their online form that asked for my favorite line from my book. I loved that challenge; especially because it made it sound like my book was already a book. I was also asked to list the last book I’d read. This was a bit tougher since I generally read 3-4 books at a time. I spent a good hour debating between Cry, The Beloved Country by Alan Paton, The Longest Ride by Nicholas Sparks, and The First 15 Lives of Harry August by Claire North. I worried that if I listed Paton’s book, I’d sound pretentious (or maybe undereducated—why didn’t you read that in school?) and if I wrote The Longest Ride I might come off as a lightweight. So I went with The First 15 Lives because that made me seem current (it’s not out in paperback yet).

So, if you really want to get to know the authors querying you, consider asking for something other than the standby. (And authors: try finding your favorite line in your book! It may help you see your theme in a new light.)

• DO confirm that you received our queries. It doesn’t have to be fancy or personal, or anything but “Dear Writer, thank you for your submission. We received it and we’ll let you know [or we won’t let you know, but we’ll let you wonder for at least six weeks at which point, if you haven’t heard from us, you can assume we’re passing] our response.” I advise this because when I don’t get a confirmation that my query was received, and I never hear a yea or nay on that query, then I’m left wondering if you ever received my query in the first place.

I mean, I know it’s compelling, with incredible writing full of real characters and a strong sense of story, commercial, yet leaning towards the literary—so it’s perfect for you. When I receive no word at all, it gets my worrier worrying. What am I to do? I query again, even though, thanks to numerous articles, I know that’s a big no-no. I keep expecting my query to turn up in an article as an example of writers who badger agents. “This crazy woman queried me a dozen times!” Here’s my solution: confirm you got my query and/or let me know that you are choosing to pass (or not!) on my awesome manuscript.

• DON’T force us to listen to sappy music. Okay, this may be nitpicking, but just today I visited a site that immediately launched into a Muzak version of what I believe was Nadia’s Theme (remember her—that tiny gymnast?). It’s distracting. I share an office, so it’s also embarrassing. (And it bothers the cat.)
• If your name could be male or female, dear agent, DON’T leave us guessing. Either give it away in the bio or add a picture. At this point, I may resort to calling you by your first name rather than blunder your gender.
• DO post cover pictures and links to your recent sales. Don’t simply list the authors you represent in alphabetical order and make me go search them out on the Internet, only to find that the last book they published was in 1992. A long list is impressive, but if all the books on that long list were published ten years ago, you’re leading me on.
• DON’T instruct us to pick the agent who seems best for our work and then give us nothing about what each agent is representing. I know (from the many podcasts) that I should be selecting my agent based on books he or she has represented and I do that, but it would also be helpful to know what you are looking for now. Maybe you’re tired of representing feline steampunk mysteries and you’d really like a story about caterpillars eating Uganda. I don’t know that unless you tell me.
• DO tell us about yourself. You’re asking me to tell you everything that matters about me and my qualifications; let’s hear yours. Who are you? Where are you from? What do you like to do? Why are you the BEST AGENT IN THE WORLD (or not)? I love to hear about agents’ families and hobbies and what they like to read when they’re not selling manuscripts. That makes me feel as if I know this person enough to guess whether or not he or she will be someone I could work with. Most agents say they’re looking for a “relationship,” not simply a one-shot deal. Me too!
• And finally, if you’re honestly open only to queries from people you know, that’s fine. But don’t lead me on. That’s all we really expect. If you plan to delete my stellar submission package upon receipt, don’t make me waste my time. And I won’t waste yours.

I hope this has been helpful. I’m available for personal consultations, and for a small fee, I’d be happy to critique your website and give a brief report of my findings.  Also, if you need Muzak suggestions, let me recommend How Bad Do You Want It? by Don Henley.

Note/Disclaimer: This post is meant to be fun. I know for a fact that most agents work even harder than I do, and I can’t imagine being inundated on an hourly (minute-by-minute) basis with pleas from writers. I also can’t imagine how quickly agents’ jobs are shifting beneath their feet as the publishing industry rapidly changes. So I’m declaring right here that I have only the utmost respect for literary agents and the work they do. Because we are all (agents and authors) in the business of communication, my comments are only meant to encourage agents to be clear and kind in their message to authors. And authors—it’s our job to be professional with agents, remembering that they too are human beings and maybe even were once in our shoes.

Cara Sue Achterberg is a freelance writer, blogger, speaker, and occasional cowgirl. Her work has been featured in Family Fun and Hobby Farms Home magazines, as well as in columns for The York Daily Record. Her essays and more can be found on her blog, The Mama Load. Cara leads workshops on the organic lifestyle and writes the blog, Kid Friendly Organic Life based on the adventures and lessons of running her small organic farm while raising three teens. You can find links to both blogs, plus inspiration for teen writers on her website Carawrites.com.

Feature Photo Credit: e_lisewin via Compfight cc